Out with the old..

It’s almost the middle of January and I am still clearing Christmas. By that I don’t mean the tree or the singing penguin. My famed ‘Christmas Corner’ that houses cheese biscuits, chocolate mints, various assorted preserves and chutneys, Christmas cake and festive gin is still in full flow courtesy of a nasty chest infection that effectively wiped out Christmas and New Year. Not helpful when I am contemplating a return to healthy eating and exercise. Oh ok – who am I kidding – not so much as a ‘return to’ but more of a ‘yeah gods I can’t breathe when I bend over’ type of realisation. Time to take a tiny step and maybe let the birds enjoy something new on their breakfast table.

As one New Year celebration has ended another one opens up with the arrival of the Year of the Rat in Asian culture. I am a Monkey – yes we know and a cheeky one at that haha! – and the Rat is my secret ally and one of my most compatible companions. I don’t carry a chip on my shoulder but I have at times pinned a tiny rat brooch to my jacket in times of need. Sort of a good-luck amulet I take with me to important functions. Whether it does anything other than to remind me to stand tall I don’t know, but as the Chinese zodiac moves to usher in this furry creature at the end of the month I shall give it my blessing and wish all peace and prosperity marked with good health.

This year will bring change. And not just for the Royals. I will start a new job and my eldest will head to Uni after his gap year. 2020 has a good sound to it. That said some things are destined to remain – last week I turned up at a train station to have my ticket declined by the barrier. Presenting it to the guard on duty to be told ‘ no you can’t use that here’ I insisted it was fine as it was an ‘anytime return’. ‘Yes – that’s correct – but not from this terminal’. Ooops. Penny dropped – I’d parked my car at a different station and had headed to my usual station on autopilot. So 45 minute detour later I arrived at the correct departure point.. Reminded me of the time when I couldn’t get my car to open. Seeing me struggle a passer-by tried to help me get the door open…only for me to realise my car was parked directly opposite…

For everyone making ‘Reunion Dinner’ journeys home this week I wish you safe travels. My dear friends in Singapore and Hong Kong – you are close in my thoughts. Have a fabulous Lunar New Year celebration.

Gong Xi Fa Cai and Huat Ah!

One flew out of the cuckoo’s nest…

A month ago my eldest waved farewell as he set off to S E Asia at the start of his gap year. This was swiftly followed by my youngest moving to a new boarding sixth form, courtesy of a scholarship that enabled him to pursue his love of theatre combined with academics. Big deal right? – Loads of teens have packed their boxes and headed off to the land of Uni leaving behind parents who are proud, if a little bewildered at the loss of their offspring to pastures new. Well, here’s the thing. For as long as I can remember there have always been three of us at home.. The comings and goings of two teenage boys and their respective timetables have at times led me to wail with frustration. My calendar was mapped out for months ahead with activities and key dates that translated into a weekly planner where there was just about enough time to do a grocery shop. For anyone with a sporty or dance mad kid you’ll know what I mean. Mon was ballet, Tues tap, Wed piano & singing, Thurs tap and Fri huge sigh of relief — oh wait Sat and Sun company intensive training. Add school drop-off’s, pick-ups, exeats and half terms and suddenly your year planner is blocked out. I knew that at some stage in my life the time would come when my fledglings would fly the nest. ‘You’ll have so much time on your hands’ friends would exclaim when it was announced that both boys would be heading off. ‘Poor you’ (cue pulled droopy face) others would drawl in a ‘there, there’ tone…’How about getting a cat?’. How about no.

I know the months ahead may not all be child’s play, but for anyone living alone and finding themselves in a similar situation to me here are my early top tips. More will follow over time of that I am sure:

It’s ok to feel sad, fed-up, lonely, wistful. Acknowledge and accept what you’re feeling and be kind to yourself. Everyone is different and it takes time to readjust.
Don’t fill your diary up with activities just for the sake of getting out of the house. Take some time to figure out what you really want to do and listen to your soul.
Embrace the new freedom! Sure there are bleurgh moments but – I’ve found – that there is a teensy weensy trickle of excitement that I can do what I like after work! For me so far that has meant picking up my swimming and catching up on films and TV programmes I’ve just not had time to watch in the past. I’ve also installed a nocturnal nature camera to watch my resident hedgehogs and visiting wildlife.
Do have some set times to speak to said offspring at mutually convenient times and stick to it. It doesn’t help either party to constantly message or call. They need to settle into their new life routine just as much as you! And make sure you have something to talk about that interests them when they do call. No wailing now mum’s and dad’s :-0
Do have some treats, dates planned in your diary – that gives you a focus. I’ve found that planning a weekend meal/trip out/ cinema with my partner or with friends and choosing a new recipe to try have all helped to give me something to look forward to at the end of the week. For those couples that live together this may seems strange and everyday but for me it’s a little perk to focus on.
Make a list of all the jobs in the garden or home that you can get a quick satisfaction ‘hit’ from and tick off the list as you go. Baby steps. I’m loving a tidy laundry for once!

I am still to get used to the deafening quietness when I come home. But slowly and surely I am finding a new norm.

Not long til half term…best I get baking…

A Sharp Brexit!

Goddam it I’ve used the ‘B’ word already! In the style of BBC Radio’s ‘Dead Ringers’ Bad Boris – whaaaahaaa whaaaa come on you lovely lot lets crack on, get the job done by Hallowee’n, demolish that hard backstop and celebrate with a ‘toff’-ee apple or two whaaa whaaa… Less than a week in office and our new flaxen haired PM is doing the rounds of the girls in the Scottish and Irish villas in the hope of getting through the next round of voting. Alas it could all go Ellie-Belly up if he fails to get his foot in the door at Casa Amour – guarded by the rippling rhetoric of EU Chief Negotiator Michel Barnier… Wonder if he’ll do a U Turn and offer an olive branch a la Amber?..

OK OK hands up I’ve been sucked into the fantasy land of Love Island and helped to boost this season’s record breaking viewing figures of ITV 2’s reality game show. Last nights final saw Greg and Amber – Gamber- canter up behind Tommy, Mollie and snatch the winning pot of £50K…I’ve never seen such ‘true’ shocked faces of the winners and ‘fake’ full smiles of the losers..but hang on chappies – just moments before the winning couple were announced did you not decry you’re undying love regardless of the outcome? You entered the Villa to find £50k in your bank account – err sorry typo – err love of your life and you are all sooo excited to see what sponsorship deals, modelling contracts and TV fame shows you are offered… no no I mean see what the future holds for you as a couple…my arse! As entertainment reflects life I can’t help but think Love Island and Our Island are intricately linked. Love on the rocks on both sides of the Channel, fake partisanship and back-stabbers; divorce bill v 25k winners split and a sharp, hard exit from those that find themselves on the losing end of a manufactured relationship . And unless our Boris can whoo the Scottish Minister I doubt they’ll be any salmon’s jumping into our Island pool…The Love Island pool may be closed until next Season but voting is now open via the polls for you to choose your favourite couple when Parliament returns right after the summer break ….

Pinch of reality

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the books that they read. My current selection is a mix of old and new – the fabulous Susan Jeffers’ ‘ Fear the fear and do it Anyway’; ‘A Pinch of Nom’ cookbook; ‘The Fast 800’, a bedside novel that deals with taboo and assumed identity -Lottie Morgan’s gripping ‘Kiss Me First’ and Ant Middletons ‘First Man In’. It would appear that my inner Ninja is in need of a reboot . Which is why I recently found myself signing up for an open day ‘ try before you buy’ session at a local gym. For those of you that know me you will recall that occasionally I come into contact with the beautiful one – aka Ms Yahyah and her equally enhanced pal Ms Fabulous Dahling while out shopping. Well on this particular occasion I had donned my best M&S joggers and T -and took the plunge to book in for a couple of ‘taster’ sessions. I should have known by spotting YahYah and Fabulous D stretching out their co-ordinated Varley athleisure in the changing room (athleisure! – gotta love this terminology and how the leisure wear industry has re-branded itself! ) that perhaps I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I head to the highlighted studio, look around to see what the others are doing and set myself up with a mat at the back. I do not need a front view mirror to see if I am doing it right. And I don’t need to view my ample selection tumble over my knees thank you much! Cut to it – instructor comes in calls out a register of regulars and looks at me. ‘Have you booked this particular class ? she enquires. ‘No? Well I’m sorry but we’re full today. Speak to reception and they’ll find something for you’. – the irony here is that it’s a massive studio with a handful of people. Back I go to reception. Ten minutes later I find myself perched on a bike waiting for a virtual ride. Given I’m late to join this class the instructor (fit as) (sorry hormonal) (not sorry he was!) asks me to ‘just shout out your details and I’ll get you set up from here’ Age blah.. height…weight – seriously?!..my face is already crimson and I’m sweating, aware that bike number 9 is now the centre of attention. The girl next to me pulls an ‘aww’ expression – you know – the look reserved for the bewildered that try hard but obviously are a tad out of their depth. Music starts and off we go..that’s it ..c’mon push it ladiezzzzz,,bike number 9 – pedal faster…watch the screen and follow the hill in blue,,,now red,,now turn that dial UP UP UP and RISE….Yes yes..bike number 9 STAND UP and feel that burn. oh god. My thighs are on fire. I think I’ve peed myself a bit getting up so fast (no tena lady here!) I can’t breathe and I need to get off this not so merry go round of barking up and down. I’m out of breath, out of pace and out of tune with the rest of the group. I stand up they sit down. I sit they stand. I know how my beloved dog must have felt at puppy training all those years ago. After what seems an eternity the Bark Master announces we into cool down and the torture is over. I can hardly raise myself off the bike to get off and feel a bit wobbly. Nothing new there save my legs are usually OK. The girl next to me smiles as she moves to pick up her bag -‘there’s a beginners class you could try instead of this one’ she informs me. What?! FFS I thought this was the beginners! I say silently in my head. ‘Oh yes…good idea..thanks’ I mumble instead. As I exit the studio I see a table has been set up with healthy snack bites and water. Desperate for a drink – My water bottle downed during cooldown – I guzzle 3 cups one after the other then think sod it – may as well try the healthy bite. I take a mouthful. It’s not nice. In fact it doesn’t taste right at all. I look for a tissue. Non. Hmm. I spit it out into my empty cup. At that moment Yah Yah and Fab D appear at the stairs next to to the table and give a look of disapproval in my direction. ‘Tsk Tsk,,they still haven’t cleared this away from Mon night..honestly why they need to put fat food out for the hefties is beyond me.’ ‘Dahling you’re sooo right…this place is losing it’s edge.’ I put my cup in the bin and scuffle past them to the stairs. And depart. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway – oh yes. Tick.

Which leads me to a rethink. And a spate of recipe and motivational books. Now I don’t know if any of you are similar but I genuinely feel healthier by just having read what other people have done. A sort of virtual mindfulness retreat where you don’t actually go anywhere you just love looking at all the lovely photo’s of well organised homes in nude tones with accents of blush pink in the bedroom and azure blue in the kitchen. Nice. I read all the lovely recipes and turn straight to the baking section to see what healthy cakes are on offer. I can’t decide whether to have a pinch of all or try a 5:2 or go all out for an 800. Maths isn’t my strong point so at the moment I’m on the hover. I will give one of them a go and let you know how I get on.

On a final note well done to all the parents and students out there currently sitting GCSE’s and A Levels. We are in the home stretch now with one week to the finish line. I’m off to make some energy balls and carrot cake minus the cream cheese frosting. That’s healthy right? 🙂

Spring Forward…

It’s all been happening since my last post. Except Brextinct which as I write is still an ongoing conundrum. Last week the European Parliament announced a proposal to put an end to the one-hour clock change that happens every summer and winter. MEPs will choose whether to back permanent summer time or winter with the twice-yearly clock change ending in March 2021. This got me thinking -am I a Summer or a Winter and would this confuse the animals who traditionally hibernate once the clocks go back? Actually, in my house it seems that we hibernate most rainy days and weekends when we can. My teen for example has taken to dressing like an early Noel Coward on his return from school. Appearing in his robe for dinner and declaring ‘After dinner I shall be upstairs in my room but do shout me for dessert.’ Why yes young master. Occasionally he gets a lift to the station from my partner whom he refers to as ‘Carter’. Carter is a better chauffeur than I as he ‘puts the heating on to warm the car up’. Rod and back spring to mind. On reflection given none of us like the dark and cold days of winter I think we’d set out clocks to Summer. Shall we still be in the EU this time next year when the vote goes ahead? Who knows.. seems like most of our MPs have already migrated from the House of C…

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This time last year I was in the New Forest. For anyone not familiar the New Forest National Park is in southern England and is famed for it’s walking trails, wild ponies, and donkeys. I love a donkey. There’s something mischevious about them and they resonate with me being rounded belly and a little bit unkempt compared to their lean mean, pony cousins. ‘Jack’ pictured above took a shine to me as I did to him. Following my every move and eventually trying to stick his head into the car for a last minute smooch before I left. There are around 200 donkeys that reside in the New Forest each year. Male donkeys – called Jack’s – are apparently allowed to stay in the New Forest year round – unless they behave badly and have to be removed. The group that we saw sauntering down the road seem to be on good behaviour. Save this fellow who seemed intent on going against the drove. He loved a hedgerow. Car. Rose bush. Collecting bits of foliage as he nibbled his way from house to gate post. He’s my kinda donkey. Always got a snack for the journey! I once had a conversation with a well-to-do lady in one of London’s most famous tea rooms with a dollop of jam and scone crumbs on my top and a chocolate powder moustache. It was only when I visited the ladies did I realise I resembled a bad impression of a Marx brother. Bit like Paddington Bear always good to have something to eat on your person – preferably of the jam variety.

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Talking of jam some people I know are stockpiling French preserves and mustard in the event of a national shortage following Brexit. Oh and loo rolls?! Why? I can understand buying a few extra bottles of Prosecco with an expected increase on imported alcohol. But stockpiling jam jars and loo rolls I just don’t get. I guess some people – like the reticent MPs – just want to have their cake and eat it.

#New Forest #Cake#Baking #Afternoon Tea #Donkeys

Love

When you are old and grey and full of sleep, and nodding by the fire, take down this book. And slowly read, and dream of the soft look, your eyes once had, and of their shadows deep.

How many loved your moments of glad grace, and loved your beauty with love false or true. But one man loved the Pilgrim Soul in you, and loved the sorrows in your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars, murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled and paced upon the mountains overhead. And hid his face among a crowd of stars. W. B. YEATS

Love is a strange old thing. We are all born with the ability to connect to it, some feeling deeply within, others choosing to ignore the power it has within our spirit. Love has the ability to do so much good – the energy that comes within is vital to our development, it helps us to forgive, to learn, to feel and to heal. Love is everywhere if we open our eyes- birds content in their tree homes and chirping away in the readiness for mating season, the first bursts of spring in the garden, sharing a joke and laughter with family and friends; sharing a smile and a kind word with a stranger in need.

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I remember as a teenager the blushes and excitement of St Valentine’s Day. My friends and I would huddle in our groups and giggle about our crushes and ‘should I or shouldn’t I?’ send a card. One year I walked a good couple of miles to post a card to the person of my affection – just to avoid him being able to deduce said card was from me based on my postcode. Racing in from school I’d check the front porch to see if there was any post. There never was until around tea-time ( I’m from an ordinary family ‘tea-time’ meant dinner!) – when I’d hear the clatter of our letterbox. Heart racing I’d open the front door and there in the porch would be an envelope marked for me. Some years it would be a big red one, others pink or white. The message inside was pretty much the same every year: ‘To a devil from a devil, who the devil is it?’ or ‘To You, From Who – Do you know?’. How I analysed the message, the handwriting. As the years moved on I began to realise just who my devil was – and continued to play the game of innocence, but with my pocket money returned a similarly worded card to my not-so secret admirer. The cards finally stopped with illness and injury when the apple of my eye joined the stars in the sky. I continue my daddy’s tradition with my own boys. St Valentine’s may be a bit of a gimmick these days – I don’t believe you need a set meal out to show your appreciation. What it does allow is an opportunity to send a heartfelt reminder that you care and that in the case of my two busy busy teens and others – that they are loved and thought about every day of the year. So wherever you are, whatever your circumstance may you take a moment to stop and pause and open your eyes and your heart. Cheers to that!

#love#valentine#family

The Monkey in Me

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Chinese New Year is fast approaching and across the globe people will be hosting annual family reunion dinners and celebrating the arrival of the Boar – or Pig to many of us – with fireworks and dances on Tuesday 5 Feb, New Years Eve. This Spring Festival will see shops and businesses slow down or close for seven days with festivities generally starting one day to prior to New Year and continuing until the Lantern Festival traditionally held on the 15th day.

It’s a special time to be in China or Asia and one of the many cultural festivals that my family and I celebrated for over a decade. In fact – my boys and I still celebrate CNY since our return to the UK – some may call us greedy for observing both Western and Eastern celebrations – but to us it is part of the calendar.

Preparations for the New Year start early with my red lanterns traditionally going up last on the eve of New Year. Before that the house is cleaned from top to bottom (ever wondered where the term Spring Clean comes from?!) and anything old/ unused is thrown away – dusting off the cobwebs to make way for new opportunities – think of it as Marie Kondi on overdrive. In Singapore I always placed a new welcome ‘Huat Ah’ prosperity mat at the front door and placed special feng shui amulets – like little charms – in various parts of the house 8 days before to protect the house based on whatever my monkey needed for the year ahead. Monkey? You kept a monkey? Is a question that you may be thinking and was once asked by a friend. Let me explain..

In the Chinese zodiac I am a Monkey – or to be really precise an Earth Monkey. In Western I am a Ram – both animals equally strong and michevious. Characteristics of my inner monkey are spot on – very independent, optimistic, versatile and not afraid to tackle issues head on. Broad minded, grounded and a dislike of arguements with a mischevious streak – I guess we are the liberal animals who like to get along with our fellows but can sometimes have the ‘fuck it let’s go do it’ attitude. Earth Monkeys need to be mindul of their diets, rest and exercise plenty if they are to keep well. Something I am finally learning the hard way having allowed my inner Monkey to do what it pleased the past few years! My boxing bag and gym trips now replace the monkey ‘bars’ of old haha!

My kids loved CNY as there was always a bountiful supply of sweets and candy on the Prosperity Tray on the dining room table and friends we visted. Funnily enough they never went near the abundance of mandarins. They also loved it for the Hong Bao – or red envelopes filled with cash and chocolates that are traditonally given to kids and young unmarried adults. Pity they not in Asia now. They could do with a few red packets lol!

This year I shall celebrate CNY at home and over the coming days will be wearing red in various forms. My cheongsam wearing days may be long gone but I can still nod to tradition with a touch of sexiness. Will I be sharing it in a pic – nope – Let’s just say my inner monkey may be more cheeky than normal!

Wishing you all good health, peace and prosperity for the year ahead!

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Lanterns photo courtesy of freeimages.com/Michel Meynsbrughen

Snow time like the present

Good afternoon from wrap-up Britain. It’s grey and cold – bit like the Brexit deal – arrgh did I mention the ‘B’ word? Sorry like many I’m royally fed up with the whole sorry debacle. Up the Channel without any sign of a rescue paddle!

Talking of words it’s Cervical Cancer Awareness Month and there are stories a plenty encouraging ladies to take up their annual smear test. Around 3,000 women are diagnosed with Cervical Cancer in the UK every year. If diagnosed early then treatment and survival options are good yet figures published by the fabulous charity Jo’s Trust – http://www.jostrust.org.uk -reveal that over a million women don’t bother to attend for screening. Having been through tests and initial treatment following an abnormal smear a few years ago I wholeheartedly applaud any campaign that raises awareness for this disease and encourage anyone who is invited for a smear to do it – or to speak to their GP/ practice nurse or the peeps at Jo’s Trust to discuss any reservations. I am also happy to share my experience with anyone who is hesitant so feel free to ask!

It’s been snowing here this week and as I drove home in a snow shower I couldn’t help but get excited. There’s something childlike and magical about the snow and it reminded me of a similar time last year when it snowed during half term. Both boys off and usually reticent to venture outside – ‘too cold; I’m working (err right!), I will later’ are the usual excuses. But seeing the garden in a decent covering of the white stuff they decided to head out and challenge each other to a snowball duel. I’m upstairs listening to their squeals of horror at being caught and delight in hitting the target when it calms down and there is general talk that I can’t make out. Suddenly the big one shouts ‘Mum..mum…look outside, quick..’ I head to my bedroom window figuring they’ve made a snowman. Oh momma bear, you should know by now that they are beyond the realms of making cute snowmen! I look outside and am greeted by a giant snow penis etched out across the lawn in full view of both neighbours! ‘What the xxx’ I exclaimed followed by the name of said eldest. Art is not the strong point in our family so I was quite impressed it resembled something recognisable. I did laugh – as did they on retreat indoors all rosy cheeked and cheeky banter. Their garden art isn’t to my particular taste but their evening giggles following their spontaneous act warmed my heart. Sometimes it’s good to just be a big kid. I’m hoping for more snow this half term to see what they’ll surprise me with next!

Hello….

I’m new to this. Not new to the idea of writing a blog – that’s been dancing around my mind for months now. But how to physically set up a page and start writing. So bear with me whilst I find my feet. Or my page ha! A little about me. I’ve passed the threshold of fifty and find myself drawn to adverts promising a decent nights sleep with moisture wicking t shirts, magnets that can rebalance my raging hormones and personalised haircare products that claim to bring a youthful kick to my somewhat lacklustre locks. I have two teens who are going through GCSE’s and A levels – it’s fun in our house – and I am trying very hard to navigate the menopause and teenage angst with a certain degree of humour and the odd glass of bubbles. And coffee. Oh let’s be honest – chocolate, cake, smoothies, pull-you-in panties, make-up – you name it – some days you just have to go with the flow – or the flush as is often the case these days.

Many of my friends are posting pics from a decade ago #10yrchallenge. It made me think – ten years ago I was married, living and working in Singapore. Little did I know then that five years on I would be returning to the UK to start a new life as a single mum. The last ten years have been one hell of a personal challenge for me. From moving countries to losing my mum, my dog and my husband (through divorce) I don’t feel the need to challenge myself to post pics of then and now. Instead I give thanks to my inner self for having made the journey thus far and challenge myself to keep on going for the years ahead.

My scribblings here are largely a memory note to myself and a way of sharing what interesting snippets of life I find along the way as I embark on a new journey in my middle years. I hope that you’ll join me and share your experiences too.

Here’s a virtual coffee…come join me…